happiness is not good for my health.

2 hours of sleep and a venti cappuccino.
I may ramble; you were warned.
Through analysis of my life thus far (and granted, that's not a very diverse nor substantial sample), I have come to realize that happiness is not good for my health.
In fact, it is detrimental. Any times I have been truly happy have either immediately or subsequently caused negative vibrations throughout my web of life... and I've started to avoid it.
Neutrality is safe, no?
Neutrality is beautiful. Emotions are not relevant in the pursuit of general self-realization.
Nothing matters in this life unless you make it matter, right? Nietzsche is my teacher.
Nihilism is such a... base philosophy. Wipe the slate clean, believe nothing, disregard society, make yourself matter. That's the truth if it, really.
Look: anyone who has ever made anyone of themselves have always been completely innovative in their own time. Completely fresh and original. They've disregarded the social norms and proceeded to make their own values dominant of their lives, and, by doing so, influenced people around them to accept their values as well.
Adolf Hitler. Joseph Stalin. Arthur Pendragon. Alexander of Macedonia...
You know, people being übermen.
And the überman, as we see, is content and satisfied; not 'happy'.
Happy people are ignorant (ignorance is bliss, right?) and in general unconcerned with self-mastery.
Temet nosce, carpe ipsum, carpe diem.
The world is such that it is impossible to both master and be happy.
Human nature is such that we always see our flaws, and wish to be perfect, therefore: one must either free onself of self-mastery and be happy to be governed (and find perfection of oneself in pledging oneself to a perfect entity (i.e. God)), or be master of oneself and never truly be happy.